Things my mind makes up.

I want to carry on, write more and more about my life, but after that first chapter, I don’t know what to do. I’m scared. When I started writing that, a few days ago, I never intended to publish it and make it available for everyone to see, especially for some people from my family. I’ve started it as a form of therapy, to help myself understand more of me, so I’ve poured some really deep experiences in, and wrote them down. At the end, I think it was 2 or 3 in the morning, and I got the idea of actually making it public. Don’t get me wrong, there’s so much in here that I would love to share with some people, and during the entire process, I felt some parts were almost like a dedication. I’ve been contemplating about what chapter 02 should be about ever since that went live. Now I know people will read. Do I hide? Do I talk about something else so I’m not repetitive? What do I do, and how do I renew this courage to lay myself bare for everyone to see again? So I decided to s...

I think I’m not as good as I thought. This entire hero persona that I think most of us have is crashing slowly. I’m afraid of it happening, I try to avoid it with everything I have most of the time. But nothing seems to work. Even more so, the more I avoid it, the sadder I become. There’s a story about this. I was in this car with a, I would call friend at the time, from the church I was frequenting. We were having this long conversation about our lives while he was driving to china town to buy some freshly baked bread. We sat in that car park for a while talking and I mentioned that, while going on about my life, I ignored what god told me to do, and resisted it. However, after a while, I became depressed, too exhausted to resist and keep on doing my own thing, so I decided to finally cave in and do what god has initially told me. I can’t possibly recall right now, but it was a high chance of being about my girlfriend at the time. He immediately interjected how such occurrences...